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Continued from Instagram.

Yes.  I do have a story about massaging a 90 year old Hungarian lady and at one point in a soft thick accent she repeated “harder harder harder”, but that’s a story for another day.

So I’m at work one day in the summer and a few of my colleagues came in saying there was a camera crew filming a Just for Laughs prank outside our building.  Immediately, a group of us went downstairs to watch. When we got outside we stood in the smoking area.  Well that day it seemed like everyone was smoking because there must have been a crowd of about 100 people watching. The prank was a woman asking to be shown directions to the Eaton Center on a map and while the unsuspecting victim was focused on the map she would slowly pull down her tube top and surprise the innocent victim with her set.  

Well it wasn’t long till everyone was BEGGING me to be that innocent victim.  Earlier that week I read 5 career articles saying to always look for opportunities to lead, it almost seemed like destiny.  Yet I was still at a crossroad because if you know me I tend to shy away from these situations.  It’s funny, sometimes the hardest things to do in life are the ones you know in your gut are right, like giving up your train seat for an elderly woman or leaving the last slice of pizza for someone else.  So I did what any good man would do. I walked across the street with my head held high and prepared to put on a show of a lifetime.  

I walked slowly.  I thought to myself “What if she doesn’t notice me?” “Do I walk passed her a second time?” “Do I do it a third?” “When do I cross the line before people think I’m just some creep trying to sneak a peak?”.  The audience was watching my every move.  The pressure was on.  I only had one shot.  I started to get nervous.  This was going to be on Just for Laughs on CBC, in other words, a national audience.  Was it the audience I needed? No, but it was the one I deserved.  

Suddenly we made eye contact.  She’s going to take the bait!  She’s walking over to me.  She thinks she’s going to prank me.  

All I needed to do now was sell it, but I panicked.  I got caught up in her question because I actually didn’t really know where the Eaton Center was.  In this moment I thought it was over.  She had me figured it out.  I’m a fraud.  But Imagine if all the Greats gave up this easily?  I pressed on.  I was now determined to find the Eaton Center on the map but I honestly had no clue.  This was one of those fold-up-gas-station-maps and I needed a map with pictures.  Looking back I’m not sure why I didn’t just pull out my phone, maybe my data was maxed out.  At this point I look up, ready to admit defeat and BOOM.  Top gone.  I just got pranked.

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Did I deserve an Oscar for best supporting actor in a short film?  No, definitely not. But to quote the camera man “That was the best reaction we’ve had today”.  I’d like to think I was the very last prank of the day but part of me knows I was one of the first.

Now the question you’ve been waiting for, why did I have to get a subscription to get the footage?  Well after I signed a piece of paper saying they could use the footage and I realized it wasn’t Just for Laughs Gags it was The Naked News.  I went from a national audience to a few creepy old men and a couple people trying to see themselves in a bad prank.  Tough blow because the camera guy told me I could just email them and they would send the footage, but then they ghosted me hard.  So finally I bit the bullet and paid for a months access to the site.  All because that guy told me I had the best reaction of the day and I needed to see it.  

For the record the video isn’t even good.  It was a waste of money.

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